24 May Boundaries are not rude.!
Adults here (who were once Little children obviously) who are following me sent me this.
➖I was made to sing and dance & talk in English for the guests.
➖I was constantly compared with cousins & friends.
➖I was asked to hug & kiss uncles in the family.
➖I was constantly embarrassed in front of all.
➖I was body shamed a lot.
➖I was targeted because I’m an introvert
➖I was made to feel bad for having emotions
Most of us can identify with most of these statements,especially if we’re in India.
I’m not blaming the set of parents we had. Because honestly – they didn’t know any better. They just followed what they saw in their parents or just felt proud showing us off to all. And guests are seen as Gods in our country. Maybe that’s why they went out of the way to please them.
More than anything they didn’t know anything about boundaries because they themselves didn’t have any. No one has it. No one trains us to have it. And if he have it – which every child is born with, it translated into something else & it is cut off in childhood itself.
What are boundaries seen as in our country.?
1. Being rude
2. Being selfish
3. Opposing parents
4. Acting smart.
6. Socially awkward behavior
Well boundaries are very healthy and the most effective way to be in good relationships & avoid communication issues. It establishes autonomy & your self esteem. Unfortunately we’re not trained in having boundaries & whenever we had them, we were stopped from having them stating the above reasons.
At least as the next set of parents, Let’s recognize our children’s boundaries & respect them first. Only then they’ll grow up to be adults that have clear boundaries in their relationships & work life.