13 Nov Why is it on TV Amma?
Songs on YouTube while dinner is getting ready.
Anjali anjali song.
Maya who was helping papa make chapatis came to watch as she’s heard this song many times in my car…
She watches the heroine in the tub and goes-
🔸Maya – oh no… Why is she caught in the act? Is it OK to take a video when someone is taking a bath? Isn’t it a private activity?
🔹Me – 😳 uh…
🔸Maya – why are they showing her take a bath Amma.?
🔹Me – well, it’s from a movie baby. She’s not actually taking a bath. She’s just acting.
🔸Maya – but she is in the tub and hasn’t worn anything Amma. I don’t think she is acting. She is taking a bath for sure.
🔹Me – (realizing there’s no point talking about this angle, as it is quite evident that in a child’s eye the woman is evidently bathing, I take a different approach)
Baby, she has given permission to shoot her taking a bath. It is with her consent that this is being video graphed.
🔸Maya – oh… Why would she give permission to shoot bathing, doesn’t she know it is to be done in private?
🔹Me – Because she’s in a movie & the movie makers want such a scene in the movie. Also, she is being paid for it. So this is her profession. To act how the movie makers ask her to.
🔸Maya – Oh… Then it’s OK I guess. I didn’t know bathing is OK to be taken on camera.
🔹Me – Baby, if you are acting in a movie, and you are old enough to give permission or if you are very comfortable with it, and the movie shows you and your family in the swimming pool having fun together, you’ll act like you are enjoying right?
🔸Maya – Yes if I am comfortable I will. But swimming and bathing are different right Amma? Bathing is still a private activity, right?
🔹Me – hmm. Yes. (wondering what else to say)…
🔸Maya – you don’t know why they show bathing in the movie, Amma?
(oh this girl is cornering me now). 😂
Me – OK baby bathing is a private activity. I agreed. So there are movies that show private activities like bathing and making love. They are actually for adults to watch. Even this song, is actually not kids’ content. Though there is no lovemaking or aggression it is really not MADE for kids. So this movie, though not porn (we’ve discussed porn before) is for people above 18. That’s why there is a bathing scene in it. And I completely agree bathing is a private activity and it must not have been in a movie. But the fact is, this particular movie & song is for adults.
Maya – oh? but why are you guys OK with me watching this.?
Me – well actually these movies that usually have stories about adults & their lives are tagged PG 13, which means some scenes are inappropriate for kids who are preteens. This also means parental guidance or supervision is needed. So that’s exactly what I am doing here. I’m guiding you and having a conversation with you on what exactly you are seeing on TV. Are you clear baby?
Maya – well all I understood was she is bathing on TV and bathing is a private thing to do. But she is okay with it and so she’s bathing in front of others.
Me – haha. But you missed an important point. She’s acting too. So she is actually pretending. She might have a white towel on her body and they would have just covered her body with soap and you wouldn’t know, right?
Maya – Doesn’t look like it. Looks so real.
Me – well that means they are doing a great job at making you believe it. When you grow a little more you’ll know how amazing these things can be done that everyone believes is real. You’ve seen ads where kids taste some biscuit or something and act like it is amazing, but sometimes it can actually taste bad, but they are just acting?
Maya – Yeah okay…Enough explaining amma… It is getting boring. Also, change the song. I’m going back to the kitchen.
Please note parents- by age 6 or 7 usually kids know that certain things are real and some things are pretended. For example my child knows people in movies pretend. But since this was a bathing scene and clearly her body was covered in lather, my child could not come to terms that it was pretended and she thought it was someone really bathing on TV. Thus the discussion took this turn. Else she knows people in movies are pretending. This conversation went too long and I lost her focus. But when you have such conversations, plz make them very short. One min is enough. If they want to know more, you can explain but remember, the shorter the better.
Also, You can make any moment a teaching opportunity. Also do talk about porn proactively if the child handles gadgets. We have already had the conversation so I included it casually in this conversation. There is an IGTV video on my feed dealing with this topic ‘porn & kids’. Do watch that or read the blog on the sex-positive families website on pornography. You’ll get clarity. Attend my sex Ed workshop to learn in detail.
Thank you. I hope you got clarity on how to have discussions when a child watches any adult content on TV.